Abusing Siblings

I am a 23-year-old unmarried boy. My problem is that the more I masturbate the more my desire increases for masturbation. Therefore, to suppress my desire, I go for oral sex with my younger brother. Am I right in doing so? It is the only way I feel satisfied. I am eager to hear from you.
–Brother’s Keeper

You need to stop having sex with your brother. Now. What you are “going for” is not merely oral sex, it’s sexual abuse of your brother. In addition to the fact that you’re committing a crime, your behavior is also completely abhorrent. You have no idea how damaging this is to your sibling; all sexual abuse is traumatic, but incest is particularly so. You may be irreparably ruining your brother’s ability to have a healthy sexual and emotional life as an adult, and you have probably also materially damaged any desire he might have to continue a relationship with you as his brother. I doubt you’re even thinking about this, but I’d bet real money that your brother doesn’t even understand what exactly he’s being asked to do and that he never gave his consent to this sexual contact. In other words, you’re exploiting your age advantage and power over him as an older sibling to make him engage in damaging and traumatic sexual activity. Yes, it’s that serious. Your issues with masturbation are completely irrelevant and do not in any way excuse the abuse.

So, this is what you have to do: first, end all sexual contact with your brother immediately. Second, apologize to him—don’t just pretend that nothing happened. You have to acknowledge to him and to yourself that you’ve done something wrong. And finally, remove yourself from your current living situation and stay away from environments with young children. Don’t make any excuses about work or school making it impossible to move, just make it happen. If your brother needs counseling resources, he can get in touch with Tulir, an organization that does counseling and advocacy for survivors of child sexual abuse. As for you, get into therapy and start examining the reasons why you did this and how to stop—you can start by checking out the website for Stop It Now. I hope your brother and you can get the help you need.