Wank For The Day

I’m a 15-year-old boy. I play football and I usually have a lot of stamina, but now when I run the 400 meters I get really tired. My friends say the loss of stamina is due to masturbating. Does masturbation decrease the level of stamina in my body? Please tell me because I need to have enough energy to play the game for 90 minutes.
–Long-Distance Boy

My boyfriend says he masturbates six times a month and that now he’s ejaculating much more quickly than he used to. Will this cause any problems during our married life? Will he be able to satisfy me? I’m nervous about this because we’ve never had sex before.
–On Behalf Of The Boyfriend

I am 20 years old. Whenever I see some hot scenes (such as hot girls in sexy pose and nude appearances) I become uncontrollable. I masturbate very often because of this.
Is it right to masturbate so often? I have lot of goals that I want to achieve but this habit restricts me. Is this a good practice or are there any remedies for my problem?
–High Achiever

I want to share stories about the wrong things I have been doing. I have been masturbating for about ten years and I really enjoy it. However, I am looking to get married and I want to know whether my masturbating will affect my sexual experiences with my partner.
–Wondering About Masturbation and Marriage

I am a 24-year-old man, and from the age of 15 I have had this habit of masturbating. I learned it from some bad friends. I have realized that this is a bad habit but I am sad to say that I can’t keep any of my resolutions to stop. Is masturbating wrong? If so, then how do I stop? If it is not wrong, then why is my sperm count so much lower than in my earlier days? With a low sperm count, will I be able to make my future wife happy and have children? Will my children have any birth defects? If I marry will my sperm count automatically increase, or should I take medicine for this?
–Man With Low Sperm Count

Okay, enough. I’m printing these questions because they represent a good 80 to 90 percent of the e-mails I get every week. Most of the messages I get are from young men and women who are anxious about their masturbating habits. Let me set everyone’s minds at rest once and for all. Masturbation is not bad for your mental or physical health. It will not make you lose weight, become weak, or permanently lose sperm or eggs. (Women don’t release eggs when they masturbate and men regenerate sperm all their lives, so what they release during masturbation is unimportant.) Masturbating will not ruin your life, make you lose concentration, or hamper your ability to achieve your goals. It will not affect your married life in a negative way (unless you prefer masturbating to sex with your partner, which is it’s own kind of problem). You will not have children with birth defects if you masturbate a lot. For women, men, intersex, and transgender individuals (basically, everyone), masturbation is a safe, healthy, low-risk way to explore fantasies and experience sexual pleasure. If you are having problems in your personal life, I guarantee they have nothing to do with masturbation unless you are truly spending every minute of the day wanking off. It’s fine to have fantasies as long as you continue to treat the men and women in your life with respect and not merely as visual fodder for the spank bank. Enough with the angst!

Response From A “Doctor”

This is in response to the answer you have given to the 19-year-old girl about masturbation in the Indian Express last Saturday. I was really horrified with your nonsensical answer. You wanted her to do masturbation more than two times in a week and to enjoy it more. The girl herself feels that such a habit is wrong and wants to come out of it. She knows that it is unhealthy but she is addicted to it. When you answer these types of questions I request you to be completely sure about your answer. The answer given by you was wrong and encouraged immorality in public.

If you were really so courageous you could explain your surprise that her frequency was so low because you do it many more times than her and that you keep healthy mentally, physically and morally, too.

Please note that masturbation is a weakness. If you have done it you know it that is totally unhealthy (morally, physically and mentally). The Creator has given the means of attraction to the opposite sex for procreation only. After procreation is completed, this power is gradually withdrawn by nature itself and one is not supposed to assess the opposite sex or their spouse on their sexual ability. Similarly, many youths and unmarried healthy people face temptation for sex and it is your duty to save them falling to it when they have approached you for counseling.

Masturbation is, of course, unhealthy physically, mentally, and also morally. Why didn’t you make this point to that girl? While she should not feel guilty about it, she should try to avoid it as far as possible.

I shall tell you in another mail about the bad effects of masturbation, if I know your response to this.
–A Healthy Man and Doctor

Thank you for helping me to see the light, sir. I realize now, after reading your letter, how wrong I was in my advice to the girl from last week. After all, why should any woman be allowed to enjoy her own desires, have a sense of empowerment about her sexuality, or really feel any kind of ownership over her body at all? Tell you what, I’m going to revise my advice to that girl here and now: wear a chastity belt, lock yourself in the kitchen, and pray to the Creator for forgiveness of your sins, you disgusting whore.

Or maybe I should just tell you to go screw yourself, AHM. Literally.

It is not at all uncommon for people like you to use pseudo-scientific “evidence” in order to buttress arguments in favor of repressing sexuality (particularly the sexuality of women.) In fact, many scientists themselves often use fake science to lend an air of legitimacy to their misogyny. Frederick Suppe is a professor emeritus of philosophy at the University of Maryland and has done groundbreaking work on the philosophy of science and gender, and he has this to say on the subject: “There is, in fact, good reason to suspect that the classification of sexual paraphilias as mental disorders (or illnesses) is the codification of social mores. The historical record clearly shows that in issues such as masturbation, abortion and contraception, venereal disease, and the inferiority of women and blacks, physicians have generally supported the prevailing mores, presenting research that gave credence and medical-scientific legitimacy to social prejudices” (1991). In fact, as early as 1917 German psychiatrist Wilhelm Stekel published his study of masturbation, Autoeroticism, which made clear that there was no scientific proof of the “dangers” of masturbation and that the it was, in fact, societal and parental inference with that practice that could potentially lead to guilt and trauma, not the act itself. I mean, this was early on in the practice of psychiatry as a field, and already people were beginning to point out the pitfalls of using the authority of science, “normality”, and psychopathology as rationalizations for social prejudice. Like I said, there is no legitimate scientific proof that masturbation is unhealthy, be it physically, mentally, or morally (as you’re so fond of saying). The only evidence that’s out there is the kind of trumped-up nonsense that so frequently makes people (like that girl who wrote to me last week) feel needlessly ashamed of their bodies and their desires.

Masturbation Is Key

I am a 19-year-old girl. Madam, I am addicted to masturbation twice in a week. I don’t know whether is it good or not, but it is uncontrollable. Will this affect my health?
–Is This Weird?

Twice a week?! Frankly, I don’t think you’re masturbating enough. Masturbation is a very empowering sexual act: it can help you become better attuned to your body, your desires, and your fantasies, and all in a safe and non-threatening way. Get in there, get busy, and stop worrying about it. And no, masturbation will not affect your health.

Right-Hand Man

I am an 18 –year-old boy in my second year of college. I am very much addicted to porn and masturbation. I feel an uncontrollable attraction to females. I want to get rid of these habits because they are greatly affecting my academic performance, which is making me frustrated and anxious. Please help me to overcome my addiction.
–A Student

Yo, homeslice. If your self-love is causing you to screw up at school, then something is seriously askew. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation. Like Woody Allen said, it’s sex with someone you love. There’s no better or safer way to figure what turns you on than to do it yourself, I say. I also don’t think that there’s anything particularly wrong with porn, either, provided everyone involved is a consenting adult. (Many people disagree would disagree with that opinion, but whatever, it’s my column.)

However, nothing as banal as jerking off should be getting in the way of living your ordinary life—studying, going to work, having sex with your partner, etc. That’s like saying video games are ruining your life. It’s definitely possible, but it’s also stupid. If your porno proclivities are interfering with having a functional, day-to-day life, then my advice is to just stop for a while. Give yourself a one-month break from hand-love. See if it makes a difference. After the break is over, limit your porn viewing to once a week and try to be strict about it. Oh, and by the way, if your grades still suck during the one-month break, then you’re clearly doing something else wrong.