Will To Power

I am a 21-year-old boy. I know many girls who are ready to share a bed with me. Is it right to enjoy sex with so many girls, or is sex something I should only do with my wife? I am still virgin, so please help me.
–Want To Be A Ladies’ Man

Provided you treat the women in your life with respect, use protection, and are honest with everyone involved, I see no problem with having premarital sex. Go ahead, live a little. Sex is most definitely not something you need to save for marriage unless you really want to. (Honestly, I don’t know very many people with that kind of willpower.) Just make sure you’re not all hung up on the idea of your wife being a virgin—if you’re allowed to have tested the waters before marriage, then she is, too. And remember kids, use condoms!

Poppin’ Pills And Poppin’ Out The Puppies

I’m a 23-year-old married man. My wife doesn’t want any more kids now that we’ve had two, and it’s became a routine for both of us to quarrel everyday. Is there any pill that can arouse her desire to have sex? And if she should become pregnant, is there any pill to abort the baby so that we can keep at least some gap between the children?
–Need Wife’s Loving

In the words of the late, great Kevin Federline, you bettah check yo self before you wreck yo self, fool. I don’t know what planet you’ve been chilling out on lately that you don’t know this, but there’s a nifty little invention out there called the condom, which if used properly, prevents both sexually transmitted diseases like HIV and (gasp!) pregnancy! You don’t even have to worry aborting any fetuses because condoms prevent sperm from ever fertilizing a woman’s eggs. Genius! I hope know what I’m referring to, otherwise you’re in trouble. (I’d love to insert my usual demonstration of safe and proper condom use here, but I don’t have my medical instruments handy—a rubber, a banana, and a chalkboard. Pity, really.) Kama Sutra, Durex, and Nirodh are all brands of condoms that are available at any local pharmacy—I know, because I’ve bought them. They’re usually between Rs. 50 and Rs. 120 per pack. Check out Planned Parenthood’s website for a full description of what condoms are and how they work. And, you know, go forth and fornicate.

As for a magic cure to arouse your wife’s desire, I’ve heard of a really great one recently: it’s called the “help your partner around the house and with the kids, treat him or her with respect, and generally be a more sensitive person” pill. It apparently works wonders.