Noodles!

I am 26 and a happily married housewife with a 6 year-old son. My husband and I share a very passionate relationship. He is very experimental and liberal about sex. During oral love making sessions he often asks me to swallow his semen. He says that semen is full of vitamins and nutrients and is very good for the health. But recently, one of my girlfriends told me that semen contains a lot of fat content. I am a little overweight so I’m concerned about this. My second doubt is regarding my attire at home. Although my husband wants me properly dressed in public, he wants me to be very sexy at home, especially at night when nobody else is at home other than our son. He wants me to go topless after nine, sometimes doing the cooking and serving of food in the semi-nude. As I said above, my son is very young so I’m a little reticent about this. My husband says that there is nothing wrong in letting my son look at my breasts and that it will help him develop a healthy attitude towards females and the human body. What is your opinion on these matters?
–Hot In The Kitchen

To address your first question, semen is perfectly harmless to ingest, provided it’s STD-free. Semen doesn’t have high fat content, but it’s definitely protein-rich and contains trace amounts of zinc, amino acids, vitamin C, and other good stuff. The amount of semen that the average male ejaculates is between 1.5 and 5 milliliters. (To put that number in perspective, the average chicken egg—another excellent source of protein—contains 43 milliliters of fluid.) So yes, semen contains a number of nutrients and has a lot of protein, but the amount you’d be ingesting is so small that it wouldn’t affect your diet or health anyway. As long as you don’t personally mind swallowing, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

As for your other concern, girl, are you nuts? Let me just ask you this simple question: if your mother or father made a habit of walking around the house with their dangly bits waving around, wouldn’t you feel a little, I don’t know, weird about the whole thing? Especially after you’d hit adolescence? There’s a reason why parents and children are supposed to maintain sexual distance, and it’s because you start getting into very creepy territory when you close that gap. Parents should definitely talk to their children about sex in an honest and non-judgmental way by providing information, answering questions, and being supportive of their kids, but I guarantee you that no child ever wants to hear or know about the down-and-dirty details of their parents’ sex life. Instilling a healthy respect for sex and the body is very different from actually parading your noodles around. Your husband is asking you to make your child an unwilling and non-consenting observer of your sexual activities, and saying it’s for his own good is completely disingenuous. If your husband wants you to make the rotis in the buff when no one else is around, more power to the both of you. But when your kid is in the house? That’s a definite no go.